My Three Mothers: Lainesha, Diora, and Terees

I have had three mothers in my lifetime...well, two before my death and subsequent rebirth as a Shadow Guard. Three after.

There was my birthmother, Lainesha Starlark. A Tecian elf with beautiful medium brown skin. Soft and creamy, it was breathtaking to look it. She wore her dark hair in many beautiful styles and rare was it she wasn't wearing something that enhanced her true beauty. I have her eyes, gray and mysterious. I remember she always painted her eyes and lips, adding color to her cheeks, but only enough to add to their beauty. Mostly, she wore nothing to color her features. Her beauty was natural and I remember, during my twelth season's summer solstace party, the girls talking about how their mothers envied mine for her beauty.

I refuse to remember what she looked like after the massacre. She should be remembered alive, hair streaming around her as she would chase after me when we were home alone, my father watching in amusement. I remember her smile when she would praise me for something I did well, how her eyes twinkled with something mysterious whenever I would speak of my father. My parents loved each other, but there seemed to be some secret they never told me of. Mother never spoke of why she left her home city and I was too young to care. I still don't care. She was my mother and I loved her.

The second mother I had was vastly different from my birthmother. Garrin's wife, Diora, always seemed to have a light tan and her eyes were a beautiful green. Her hair was such a lovely shade of blond. Almost white. She was so sensual in her movements and I felt clumsy around her perfection. Though she became my adopted mother, she lacked the warmth I had found in her husband and my birthparents. My birthmother especially. She cared for me and taught me everything I needed to know to excel as a woman in the city of Silivar. I learned the sensual dance of raq shaquis and how to be appealing to any man.

The last mother I will ever have is the Mother Terees, the goddess of harmony and wisdom. A bit forgetful at times, she still remembers each of her Shadow Guard children. She loves each and every one of us and cares for us all the same. Her complexion is in the medium range with lovely brown hair and light skin. She prefers the walls of a library to the brilliant sunlight outside.

Though I love Terees and call her "mother", I still dream of my birthmother and her beauty. I can only hope that my birthmother, Lainesha Starlark, is proud of me. I often think she isn't. How could any mother be proud of a daughter who has led a life of death; a life of killing from the shadows? I can only hope that she is proud that I am now a Shadow Guard protecting those who need it and fighting the evil of the Fathers.

I also hope she will forgive me for, in no small way, following the Father of Lust. He has been the only steady thing since her and my father, Alinbar Vaelryn, were murdered. He was there before I left Cascadence, knowing little about the Father of Lust and knowing that some talents I had were ones He approved of. He was then a large part of my life in Garren, where I learned more about Him and began appreciating what he did and why. Not that I approved of his currently-evil mannerisms, but he wasn't always like that. Besides, everyone has some evil in them, why should the gods be any different? I held onto the one constant and even now, I have a part of him in me. Literally. I have his Gift of complete attraction.

I still miss my mother, Lainesha, though.